“Don’t dwell in the past. . .”
The above statement reminds us to keep pushing forward as opposed to slipping into stagnation. No one wants to be the former high school quarterback who still wears his old letterman jacket with his receding hairline and beer gut. But to say there is not value in the past is short sighted. The past holds triumphs we can return to that bolster confidence. It holds failures that we can evaluate as we plot a course to future success. With no past, there is no experience. And I’ll take experience over theory any day of the week.
But what is confidence?
Confidence is nothing more than a belief that you will succeed at a task or event in the future based upon results you have previously achieved.
Sometimes this belief is based on an apples-to-apples comparison: I tied my shoes yesterday, so I believe I can tie them today. In this case, repetition (often called practice) fortifies the belief of success.
Sometimes confidence is based on an apples-to-oranges comparison: I learned how to play the piano, so I believe I can learn how to work on automobile engines. Here both are intricate skills (like both apples and oranges are fruits), but the knowledge and dexterity required for the respective activities does not transfer from one to the other.
And sometimes confidence is based on an apple sauce to apples comparison: I made a mess of things before, but now I see how to avoid the previous mistakes and understand the path to success. Mistakes and “apple sauce” are often unavoidable, and it’s usually best to get them out of the way as soon as possible and fail faster to success.
Regardless of the fruit combination, artifacts from the past such as old pictures, diplomas, and even rejection letters can give us the surety that only comes from a been-there-done-that path.
Two years ago, I got into the best shape of my life. A year ago, I slipped out of shape as I allowed my self discipline to wane under financial and relationship pressures. Now I’m back on the path of being in top shape, and it is the pictures and videos from two years ago that are driving me on to success today. In reviewing these old pics and videos, I ask myself, “How much better I can I be this time?”
Although my “Failure” video tends to get the most attention, it is the video below that I return to when I need a little extra fortification in my belief of success:
Reviewing the past is different that getting stuck there. It is practice, comparable experience, and mistakes that forge confidence and blaze the trail to future success.
How do you build confidence? Do you reflect on symbols or records of the past to bolster your belief in future success? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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Really nice, Vic. I like the applesauce to apples comparison – if only we did a better job of learning and gaining confidence from those!
True, it’s easy to let the apple sauce knock us on our ass from time to time. But when we come out on the other side, we gain confidence in our ability to adapt and overcome.
Awesome article Vic. This reminded me this morning that I need to build my confidence off of my successes and not each failure that I have.
On those days where I feel like all my confidence is gone, I pull out pictures from the past and look how far I’ve come, knowing… I have made it this far, I can make it all the way!
Thanks, Trisha. And yes you can make it all the way!
Nice post, Vic. I have two remarks.
After read the third one – an apple sauce to apples comparison, I naturally expected another comparison, but you didn’t mention it. What I expected was an apple sauce to oranges comparison. Well, actually, this one is rather about how not to build confidence – you don’t want to undermine your confidence based on an apple sauce when you are dealing with oranges. I believe there are people who make such a comparison and infer that they are not good enough.
The other remark of mine is simple. In Japanese, the word for confidence is “jishin”, which can be broken down into two smaller words, “ji” and “shin”. The former means “self” and the latter means “belief”. So, it means “believing in yourself”. I like this way of understanding confidence – that is, to be confident is to believe in yourself no matter what.
For me, the attitude that I can learn from everyone and everything will help me believe in myself and what I do. There is no loss or failure when I do learn that way. I believe in my ability to learn and in myself. That’s how I keep my confidence.
Thank you for an insightful post, Vic.
Excellent point about the apple sauce to oranges! Very often past failures give us pause to try new things – when there is no correlation between the two.
And many thanks for the breakdown of the Japanese word for confidence. I studied Japanese in college but am sorely out of practice.
Vic: You’re absolutely right on these things. What works best for me is thinking in the apples and oranges way. The more skills I make the effort to learn, the more I believe I can learn other skills, even if they’re unrelated. Principles of learning kick in to whatever we learn, so the more we learn, the better we get at it – the clearer we become on how we learn and what we need to do to make things sink in. It’s super helpful for anyone, I think, to read the part of your post about slipping out of shape and getting back in – always good to see examples of turning things around. The more we see of them, the more we think we can do it too. Your analogies get your message across quite well. Never thought about those things before in terms of fruit.
Well done. Susan
Thanks, Susan! I agree that there is a true skill in learning that helps acquiring new skills and knowledge regardless of the subject matter.
I build confidence not by looking in my past, but by looking forward and to what others have accomplished.
When I know that anyone was able to do something (in business, fitness or otherwise) then I know that it is not impossible. Once my mind knows that what I am trying to do is possible, I get the drive to keep pressing on.
I like that, Caleb. Maybe an apples to apple pie analogy? You know they started out in the same place as you, but you can see all that they have accomplished.
Vic,
I enjoyed the article.
I do think about my past accomplishments and the challenges that I have overcome to help give me confidence to tackle new challenges.
However, I also just act confident. Do the things that I know make me feel confident.
-Stand up straight
-Really take an interest in others
-Eat, sleep, and take care of my body
So even when times are tough or I’m not feeling it, then these help me get back on it as soon as I can.
Great points, Benjamin. There are definitely habits (posture, self care) that provide the platform for confidence.
Vic,
Great analogue
I think that the past victories are definitely a great self-confidence builders for me.
It is very easy to put yourself down and think that you are not good enough on anything. But I if that person would look back, he/she would realize all the different things that he/she has achieved already.
Thanks for the comment, Timo!