I’m no ornithologist, and I don’t know if it’s accurate, but I like this metaphor. . .
When it’s time for the baby bird to learn to fly, what happens? Mama bird kicks baby bird’s ass out of the nest leaving him to flap his wings and soar. . . or flutter uselessly until he plummets to a splatting death. No safety net and no parachute.
It’s sink or swim.
It’s do or die.
It’s burn the damned boats when you land on the enemy’s shore so you have no choice but to conquer or perish.
When your back is against the wall, when there are no other options, true commitment exists. And it is commitment that makes you fly.
Otherwise you are caught in a half-step. Your energies are divided and your actions are tepid. And that’s because somewhere in the back of your mind there is doubt. If there wasn’t doubt, you wouldn’t still cling to the day job you hate, the weight you need to lose, or the spouse you no longer love.
But these things provide comfort. They provide solace. They are there as a life preserver in case the bold actions that you want to take fail.
They also make you a big damned wuss.
Your life preservers are anchors that hold you in place scared to death to start moving towards where you want to be. They let you put off building that web site, or hiring that fitness trainer, or confronting your relationship issues until the ever elusive “tomorrow”.
Turn in your resignation letter.
Throw out all of the junk food crap that is sitting in your kitchen right now.
File the divorce paperwork.
If you want to fly, you have to kick yourself out of the nest. And you have to leave the damned parachute at home.
At what point do you quit pussy-footing around and take action? Can it be done a little at a time while holding on to security that doesn’t make you happy? Or do you have to kick yourself out of the nest? What circumstances that I did not mention contribute to (and perhaps warrant) hesitation of action? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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I've been helping people lose weight and get fit since 2001. To learn more about my simple approach to health and fitness 
Vic, love this post. It makes me think of two of my favorite quotes.
One from British statesman David Lloyd George: Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.”
The other from nature essayist (and pioneer of the conservationist movement) John Burroughs:
Leap, and the net will appear.
Thanks for the great quotes, Deborah.
Thank you for your article and energy
I agree that you have to be fully committed to achieve anything big in little time, or to develop a succesful business.
And I can see the analogy with Inevitability Thinking from Eben Pagan.
I’d like to contribute with my perspective.
1) I kicked myself out of the nest, and crashed.
When I left high paying IT consulting to start my biz, that’s when I staryed struggling. I had no business knowledge and experience, no revenues, I tried developing a few services which didn’t work out. I lost 25 pounds (and I was already thin), and I started to lose hair from stress. I didn’t have money to get coached. And in the end, I accumulated over $60K in debt.
In the bigger scheme of things, I did learn to fly.
3 years in, I am doing well and I’m repaying my debt quickly.
There are positive things to having gone through these challenges, and I’m grateful for these lessons.
Maybe I had to suffer like that to be succesful
But I do wish I kept IT contracts for cash flow while getting coached to properly develop my business. That, to me, would have been a smarter way to go about it!
I’d call that “wise determination”. I was lacking the wisdom part
And I think there is a line to draw between wussyness and wisdom.
I had a burning desire but i was inexperienced and unwise. And I paid the price for it.
2) It takes willpower to kick yourself out of the nest.
When you’re out of willpower, you stick with status quo, procrastination.
When I’m tired, I am not usually motivated to get things done and push myself.
3) There is an effective way to push yourself without willpower
Accountability.
One of the ways to make something inevitable is to get held accountable for it.
And the key element is setting a negative consequence if you don’t do it.
I do this with my mastermind partners and my business coach. I ask them to hold me accountable for certain actions, or I owe them money.
Having to pay a few hundred dollars as a penalty is enough motivation to get it done for sure.
That way, I don’t have to keep pushing myself with willpower, I only avoid the pain – and that is something we do naturally.
Hi Matt and many thanks for your contribution. I’m a big fan of Eben Pagan so am familiar with the Inevitability Thinking as well placing the accountability practices in place.
I too kicked myself out of the nest and crashed (and when I say crashed I mean I went bankrupt, ruined my relationship, and let myself get horribly out of shape). And like you, I attribute it to lack of business experience and wisdom as opposed to not being committed. No doubt the leaping from the nest can be painful, and there is the risk of splatting on the pavement – but in my mind it is offset by the potential reward of speed of implementation.
It takes balls, but burning your bridges tends to create MASSIVE learning in an extremely short period of time. The fastest way to beat the competition (in my opinion) is to burn those comfortable “bridges” and force yourself to run like a lunatic towards your goals.
Tony Robbins calls it leverage. Basically, you make it more painful to remain put rather than face your fears. A boring but comfortable job isn’t exactly a super strong motivation to go and kick some fucking arse. But when faced with the worst possible scenario, you get your arse into gear and do magnificent stuff.
How to fast track learning – burn your bridges.
Loved the post!
Thanks, John. No doubt it is a fast track to a diploma from the school of hard knocks. But despite the bumps and bruises (and crashes and burns) along the way, I’ll take the burn the bridges method over the slow and easy any day.