This is #40 of 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years.  To see a list of these short daily writings, click here.

There are moments when closure occurs.  Many of these moments are relatively inconsequential – like the closing of this 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years series.  But some of the moments of closure are life changing. . .  Divorce.  Bankruptcy.  The death of a close family member or friend.  And saying goodbye can be difficult.

But when the time comes, when all other alternatives have been expended, when you know that it must be done. . .  Say good bye.

It is that simple. But as I’m fond of saying in the fitness realm. . . simple does not mean easy.

Burn the bridge.  Cut the cord.  Delete their number from your phone.  What ever metaphor or real action that must take place for closure, do it.  Say good bye.  And mean it.

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Many thanks to everyone who followed this 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years series.  It had its high points (Soldiers March, Warriors Dance was by far the most popular post).  But allow me to be honest – it had more downs.  Posting every day for 40 days is bound to lead to bouts of mediocrity and given the opportunity to repeat the exercise I would graciously refuse.  But I would not have the presence to pass on the hypothetical future opportunity but for engaging in this writing experience for the past 40 days.  So again, my sincere thanks to those of you who took this journey with me.

So what happens next?  What happens next is a short break.  I will not be posting again to this blog until the new year.  When I resume posting I have two courses of action planned:

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This is #39 of 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years.  To see a list of these short daily writings, click here.

Focus is simply paying attention to one thing at a time.  In our modern era of hyper-connectivity this is often a lost skill.  If you don’t already, consider trying some of the following:

When you eat, eat.  Put away your phone and don’t eat in front of the computer or television.

When you drive, drive.  Put your phone in the center console or glove box.

When you train, train.  If you listen to music on a smart phone in the gym or record your workouts on an app, that’s fine.  But turn the phone function on “air plane mode” when at the gym.

When you are with someone, be with someone.  If you are expecting an important call or checking website statistics on a new project and you tell me this at the beginning of our engagement, I don’t have a problem with your phone on the table.  But if you are otherwise compulsively looking at your phone during our attempted conversation, the attempt will be short lived on my end.

OK, I admit it – I have a disdain for our cell phone culture.  So much so that I have not owned a phone for nearly a year.  The cell phone has been ubiquitous for only the last 10 years or so – do you remember the moments of peace, quiet reflection, focus, and true engagement before then?  Please put away the phone.

Why not try going without the phone for just one day?  Read more about that at my friend Matt Madeiro’s post “Forget Your Phone”.

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This is #38 of 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years.  To see a list of these short daily writings, click here.

In the 4 Pillars Of Achieving Any Fitness Goal, rest is the third pillar.  In my experience, it is also the most neglected.

Check the magazine rack of your local super market and you’ll see the headlines blaring some derivative of “Top 10 Exercises For Flat Sexy Abs” and “The #1 Diet To Lose 10 Pounds This Month”.  But you’ll never see “How To Maximize Your Hormone Profile, Increase Muscle Recovery, And Improve Focus And Energy By Getting A Good Night’s Sleep.”

Sleep is not sexy.  You can’t slap a celebrity endorsement on it and sell it as the latest program, potion, or gizmo.  And rest in general is pushed aside for either always being on the go or filling the void with mindless entertainment and distractions.

Eb and flow, wax and wane, reap and sow.  Nature dictates that periods of effort be balanced with periods of renewal.  Growth does not happen during the pushing and pulling but during the recovery after action.  Rest.

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This is #37 of 40 Things I’ve Learned In 40 Years.  To see a list of these short daily writings, click here.

In my first session with my new coach, he told me a story about Gandhi.  Now I make no claim as to the historical accuracy of the story and that doesn’t really matter.  You could just as easily insert any figure into the story from the Dali Lama to your beloved grandfather.  Just think of someone wise whom ever that may be for you.  Anyway, here’s the story. . .

A man came to Gandhi and asked him how to stop eating salt.  Gandhi said, “come back in two weeks.”  Two weeks later the man returned and again asked Gandhi how to stop eating salt.  Gandhi replied, “just stop eating salt.”  The man, slightly irritated, asked Gandhi why he didn’t say that two weeks ago.  Gandhi replied, “because two weeks ago, I was still eating salt.”

The internet is ripe with armchair experts.  And offline as well, we often hide behind “do as I say not as I do” because knowing what to do is the easy part.  But actually doing is where mastery evolves and leadership is earned.  Walk your talk.

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